Forgiveness

Forgiveness Associations:

1. peace
2. human
3. gratitude
4. smile
5. hope

Don Henley is right about so many things but especially when he sings, "But I think it's about forgiveness." (Just so you know...I recognize the nerd levels I'm reaching here).

It's pretty amazing to get to that place--I'm not an expert on how to do it but I do revel in the effects of arriving at the destination. Studies indicate that forgiveness can have some powerful implications, like lowered blood pressure, less anxiety, healthier relationships and simply a greater psychological well-being.

"Forgive" comes from Old English forgiefan - "for" meaning "completely" and "giefan" meaning "give."  And it makes sense that synonyms attached to this word are "grace, relief and rebirth," because when you drop anchor in the realm of forgiveness, don't you feel that relief completely? Don't you completely give over yourself, to the point of nearly feeling reborn -- and isn't there such a beautiful grace in that process?

Smile

Sometimes, in quiet moments, we learn something new about ourselves. I discovered that despite everything, I'm someone who smiles. I like that about myself. And while there are plenty of areas that I need to "grow" it is relaxing for a moment to focus on a "glow"  (Thoughtful Classroom terminology from the untrained).

Roses

A Rose can symbolize...

* Love
* Honor
* Faith
* Beauty
* Passion
* Wisdom
* Devotion
* Timelessness

12 unexpected pink roses can represents a thoughtful man who brings all of the above to my life.

Invest

The cyclical nature of education has always made sense to me. If district administration are generators of trust, strong leaders and well organized this trickles down to the individual schools and then the classrooms and then to the students.

If I were to do a brainstorm of words related to the concepts above the term "invest" would most certainly be present. The word was thrown around a few times at class tonight and my mind kept coming back to it. I think it's a key component not only to my career but to how I should live life.

While it can be difficult to invest when the return doesn't seem worth it -- I know that I should invest anyway.

Anyway...

Mother Teresa's Anyway Poem

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Second Grade

I meet two friends for dinner tonight and because I was early and starving, I ordered myself some calamari and grabbed a stack of papers from my purse to grade. Our waitress took a gander at my work and asserted that I was a teacher; she inquired as to what level I taught. I gave her a paper and asked her to guess on handwriting alone.

Second grade?

Eighth. 

REALLY?

And then all of the typical follow-up questions transpired when someone discovers that I teach middle school -- lots of why questions and I receive attributes akin to a warrior: brave, courageous, strong. When I answered her incredulous tone towards my career choice with the fact that I'm so happy teaching at this grade level, the looks of admiration quickly turn to concern. I've traded my armor for a straight jacket.

Dinner was lovely, the company divine. There's a huge comfort in being with people that I've known for a long time, not as much work, just real conversation -- no inhibitions or reservations. I've never taken that for granted.

Plus -- I was out on a school night -- that never happens! :)

Hell-bent

On her way out the door a student said to me, "Oh yeah, Ms. Nolan -- Connor said that you were really hell-bent on getting him to talk in class -- he wanted me to tell you that he didn't talk because he was too worried people wouldn't like him, he figured if he didn't talk, at least people wouldn't be able to make a judgment one way or the other."

Connor is a former student, who is dating a current student of mine. She reported this to me on her way out the door today, after she told me about the social progress she was making with him...i.e. he actually went to a movie with some of her friends!

I was stunned for two reasons, 1.) She said hell-bent -- I don't know why this word stuck out to me, I hadn't heard it in a while and wasn't expecting a 13 year old to use it. 2.) My former student actually feeling this way.

Students carry so much around every day, sometimes I'm amazed that they learn anything. If I had to go back to my teens, I don't know if I would make it in this day and age. I give them a lot of credit...it's like I always say...it's more about getting them through these years than it is anything else.

Super Bowl

Did you know...

Laughter boosts your immune system, relieves pain and depression, improves your social life, protects your heart, gives you a mini workout, lowers blood pressure and improves your breathing?

It's no wonder then that I feel incredibly content and healthy, when I'm with this very extraordinary group of people. I never stop laughing.

Very few of us cared about the football game, all of us cared about good food and comfortable conversation.

I adore my post-college-partiers, bearing the unfortunate acronym, pcp people. If it's true that on average a child will laugh 400 times a day, but adults only 17...I thank this group for doing its best to challenge that study.

Evidence? Sore abs and a delightful disposition. :)

Allergies

Sometimes you think a problem is solved and your confidence grows because distance has secured it as such --but yet there are remaining facets left behind and when rediscovered, unleash all the stored up emotions that had for a good chunk of time, had been boxed in.

I have a severe allergy to cats.

My sister used to have two of them, Molly and Maybe. A few months ago, she made the difficult decision to give those two fur-balls a home on a nearby farm. I could now enter her home without any precautionary meds.

Today, the kids buried me in pillows and blankets -- a fun relaxing activity where they are preoccupied and it just consists of me being horizontal for a period of time. The enjoyment from this brilliant "game" dissipated quickly when a blanket that had been a habitual napping spot for those two cats was placed on my face.

The few minutes that the blanket rested on my body caused an enormous reaction that helped define the degree of my allergy. My face became puffy, neck and cheeks red and itchy, my eyes watered profusely, my nose ran perpetually and my throat was a swollen fire.

I felt rather pathetic, but the allergic reaction wiped me out for the day. By 8pm I was calling it a night and my eyes couldn't have been more grateful for closing up shop. While I recognize that people have allergic reactions every day and that this story isn't all that interesting -- I was shocked by the level of my reaction and how unprepared I was, my guard was down and looked what happened. :)

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"I used to wake up at 4am and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness." - James Thurber