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Calvin Harris began singing his lyrics, "Feel so close," the moment I had finally located my dad's grave site. 

I had a bridal shower today that was across the street from the cemetery where he is buried and in true Carolyn fashion I was thirty minutes early to the celebration. With the extra time, I felt it obvious where I should be -- however -- the times when I had ventured to visit, I had always been the passenger, and apparently not a very alert one. I stumbled through the streets of the cemetery, none looking familiar, embarrassed and a bit panicked that I couldn't find my own father. Where were the three trees and the open space? 

When it was first chosen, my mom had mentioned that she really liked the location of my dad's plot, that there was something about it that represented him the free spirit that he was. In front of the grave site is a fairly large stone sculpture of the holy family. A few feet behind the site are three evergreen trees and beyond those is wide-open space. My first impression instantly reminded me when my dad had asked the priest during one of his final days, Am I going to have the big adventure? This space seemed to answer, yes.

I drove around and ended up back at the beginning and almost left, worried again and I'm ashamed to admit it, about time. Determination fueled inside of me and I drove down another road hoping to be lead to him. A few turns later, all feeling wrong and counter-intuitive, is when I saw it, the three trees. The holy family. My dad. Cue Calvin Harris:

"I feel so close to you right now

it's a force field.

I wear my heart upon my sleeve, like a big deal"

 -- I hadn't been really aware of the radio during my search, but as my panic subdued, my other senses awoke and I thought, I at least feel closer to you than I did ten minutes ago.