In and out of consciousness today my brain was filled with so many odd images and scenarios. I would wake up and need a few seconds to collect myself, know who and where I was. I'm not even on any strange meds, this is just what stress and illness compiled looks like I guess.
At one point I was running through the hallways of my school and I reached my classroom, opened the door out of breath and I said to the substitute taking my place for the day, "I just had to check in - make sure everyone was okay." Then I looked down and realized I hadn't bothered to change out of my penguins skiing pajama pants, but had managed to put on a professional looking suit coat. Smiling, embarrassed, I eased myself out of the room. Running back to my car, always running, I found it full of friends and someone's grandma asleep in the back seat. My friends honked my horn, saying they couldn't wait to take me to lunch. I looked at them like they were crazy! What were they doing all the way out in the cornfields and why today? I was sick! Then I felt guilty for having my first thought be one of selfishness, they had traveled all this way after all, I should be more grateful.
Jolting awake, I sat up, heart racing -- wondering if I had gone into school or not --wondering why my tonsils were so big -- hoping that I wouldn't throw up again -- not really looking forward to closing my eyes into the wacky world of my subconscious.
At one point I was running through the hallways of my school and I reached my classroom, opened the door out of breath and I said to the substitute taking my place for the day, "I just had to check in - make sure everyone was okay." Then I looked down and realized I hadn't bothered to change out of my penguins skiing pajama pants, but had managed to put on a professional looking suit coat. Smiling, embarrassed, I eased myself out of the room. Running back to my car, always running, I found it full of friends and someone's grandma asleep in the back seat. My friends honked my horn, saying they couldn't wait to take me to lunch. I looked at them like they were crazy! What were they doing all the way out in the cornfields and why today? I was sick! Then I felt guilty for having my first thought be one of selfishness, they had traveled all this way after all, I should be more grateful.
Jolting awake, I sat up, heart racing -- wondering if I had gone into school or not --wondering why my tonsils were so big -- hoping that I wouldn't throw up again -- not really looking forward to closing my eyes into the wacky world of my subconscious.
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